A Guide for Navigating Your Healing Journey in Therapy From The First Step

Therapy can be touted as a perfect fix for trauma and therefore essential to healing from sexual trauma. However, it’s not always a comfortable process. It can be messy and overwhelming, especially when you don’t know what to expect. In the end, it can be a rewarding experience when you’re ready. 

This blog post is intended to serve as a way to decide how you would like to approach your therapy journey. Making this decision shows your strength and resiliency! In therapy, you hold the reins and should have autonomy of the entire process with very few exceptions.   

What Do You Want Your Therapist to Know About You? 

Therapy is a unique experience that is different for everyone. Here are some things you might want to consider talking about in your first therapy sessions to help the therapist understand more about how to support you. 

Ask yourself these questions and reflect on them:

1. How much or how little do you want your therapist to know going into the first session? Are you open to talking in more detail about your experiences or do you want to get to know each other better beforehand? Everyone builds trust at different rates and there is no one right way to do it.

2. What do you want your primary focus in therapy to be? Your goal in therapy could be related to processing the grief of your experiences, working on your coping skills, or many other things. 

3. Do you have loved ones or supporters that you want involved in your care? Learn what role your supporters can have in motivating and encouraging you to get the most out of therapy.

What Do You Want To Know About Your Therapist? 

Not all therapists are the same! If you’re still trying to figure out how to choose a therapist, see this previous Our Wave blog post for a guide on locating therapists. 

Many therapists are willing to do some research, get technical assistance or training, or even write a referral for something that suits your needs if it seems like an overall good fit. 

Consider some of the following questions to ask your therapist during that first session:

1. Are you trained in trauma-informed care? (Not all therapists are trauma-informed!)

2. What types of therapy do you provide? Can you explain them to me?

3. Are you trained in cultural competencies such as LGBTQ-affirming, anti-racist, disability justice, faith-based, etc? (Based on your needs)

4. What do you do for self-care?*

*Some therapists don’t disclose this information depending on what level of self-disclosure they prefer as a clinician. Also, some therapy clients do not want to know this information, as they prefer stricter boundaries. 

Setting The Expectations

Therapy should be a person-centered, customizable experience. In therapy, you should be in an environment that is comfortable and encouraging enough to build trust, feel supported, and allow you to be challenged without judgment.

Consider discussing the following expectations with your therapist in the first few sessions:

1. Consider how casual or formal you want the therapy space to be! Are you able to recline or lie down? Are you free to use colloquial language? 

2. Are you okay with disclosure from a therapist? Would a therapist mentioning things from their own life be supportive or hindering your progress? For example, a therapist might say, “A loved one in my life also experienced sexual violence so I can imagine how distressing this must be for you.” Some may find that connection supportive while others may find it makes it difficult to focus on their own journey.

3. How do you want your therapist to support you in difficult moments?

4. How does your therapist handle safety planning? 

Therapists are expected to follow a certain ethical standard that allows them to continue to hold their licensure. This Psychology Today article provides further reading on how to protect yourself from ethical violations by a therapist.

What If Therapy Just Isn’t For Me?

While it is true that therapy is not for everyone, very often it takes time to make progress in therapy or see any change at all. If you’re struggling with this, consider the following: 

Supplemental Support

Maybe it isn’t that therapy isn’t for you, but that therapy is not enough. You may need to add additional resources, such as support groups (like these from PAVE or Pay What You Can Peer Support), care management, or self-help books. Chayn has a great guided self-help course to learn more about navigating the aftermath of abuse. There are also holistic supports such as yoga, reiki, acupressure, and massages. 

Readiness for Therapy 

You might not be ready for therapy yet! While it may be helpful, therapy can be challenging. Sometimes in the aftermath of sexual violence or other related experiences, you may want to sit in the grief with your immediate support system. Therapy will always be there for you in the future. 

Making Adjustments to Your Therapy Sessions

It’s possible that, rather than therapy just not being for you, you might need to take the lead on some adjustments to your session. You might need your therapist to take a different approach, use different modalities, or revisit any boundaries you may have established at the first session and see if any need to be added, taken away, or changed. You might even need a new therapist. Talking to your therapist about this may be a difficult conversation. Learn more about how to have that conversation from this blog post from psychotherapist, Lindsay Braman. 

Additional Resources for Your First Therapy Appointment

It’s a lot to take in! Fortunately, getting help is not a race. There are many resources out there that can help you navigate the process of getting treatment after sexual violence and begin the healing process that feels right for you. 

Here are some more resources and further readings:

• The non-profit organization, To Write Love On Her Arms, has a scholarship to help people cover the cost of therapy.

• IDONTMIND Journal has a digital “Ask A Therapist” column where you can submit your questions for real therapists to answer with a blog post, similar to an advice column in a magazine.

• If you’d like, download some cool free mental health apps like How We Feel for tracking your mood with coping suggestions or Smiling Mind for meditation. 

• Mental Health America has several Self-Help tools and screenings to help you figure out next steps. 

Closing Thoughts: Taking the First Step Toward Healing

Starting therapy can bring up a mix of emotions — hope, fear, uncertainty, and relief. All of them are valid. Whether you’re ready to begin or still figuring out what feels right for you, every bit of reflection and preparation is part of your healing journey. Remember that therapy is not a one-size-fits-all experience — it’s about finding what works best for you. Trust your instincts, set boundaries that protect your peace, and know that support exists in many forms. Healing takes time, and that’s okay. You deserve care that honors your story and meets you where you are.