Making Waves

In light of current events, the need to address sexual harassment in the workplace has become evident. The most recent allegations against Governor Cuomo of New York have sparked much controversy. Three former aides, a former health policy advisor, a member of the Executive Chamber staff, and a member of the 2020 Biden campaign have accused Cuomo of sexual harassment. Though he has denied these allegations, there is now an external investigation taking place. In…

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, the expectation of intimacy may arise between you and your partner. For some, this can be a difficult thing to process, and the holiday can be triggering in and of itself. For others, expectations can lead to feelings of obligation- something that can also be triggering, particularly if you are a survivor of trauma or violence. If you are feeling uneasy or uncomfortable about sexual expectations or intimacy,…

Words have power. By that, I am talking in particular about words used to describe those who have experienced sexual assault and the certain connotations that they carry. The two most common words to describe individuals who have faced sexual violence include “victim” and “survivor.”  Words have power. Classically, a person who has experienced assault would be referred to as a “sexual assault victim,” but that language has begun to change over the years. Now,…

Our world is often chaotic and uncertain. To find comfort in the chaos we create ideas about how the world must work. We rely on our worldview for a sense of safety. “[A worldview] is a collection of deeply held beliefs about how we interpret and experience the world.”https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/innovation-you/201707/your-worldview-is-your-greatest-strength “Everything happens for a reason,” for example, offers comfort because it allows one to believe that despite the chaos and uncertainty, our world is overall orderly…

Those who fight for us, also need people to fight for them.  The military physically protects us and sacrifices for us, yet some service members are unsafe within the confines of the military system. According to the Department of Defense, almost a quarter of all women in the military experience sexual harassment, and more than 20,000 soldiers were sexually assaulted in the 2018 fiscal year. Women makeup about 20 percent of the military, but are…

I can easily say that throughout the development of the current global pandemic, I have felt a lot of emotions. I have had moments of fear, anxiety, isolation, peace, relief, acceptance, and fear again. A common theme in my conversations over the last three months has been the way COVID-19 has changed personal communities and caused people to withdraw from their normal support groups. From quarantining for months to having a lot of normalcy put on…

By forgiving ourselves and realizing that despite what our inner critic is telling us, we are not the cause of our trauma and are not to blame, we can begin to allow ourselves to accept our experiences and integrate them into our identities. After experiencing an assault, there are hundreds of things people tell you that you “should do.” But after the immediate crisis management is complete and you are alone with your thoughts…what then?…

Healing means that you are not alone, recognizing that even though our experiences may be different, we are all connected. What just happened to me? Did I dream that? Why didn’t I say something?  I just felt so frozen. Its not my fault…but is it? I could have…I should have…but how?  Nausea. I must hold him accountable. I must make sure he doesn’t do it again. But what can I do? Do I even have…

Research reflects that there is a higher incidence rate among the LGBTQ+ community. Even so, we are often forgotten. On September 28th Raleigh hosted its first ever pride event. Myself and several members of the wave team had the opportunity to attend. Throughout the night and following couple of days it made me think about what we are doing at Our Wave and how the LGBTQ+ community is affected by it. This prompted me to…

We wanted to disturb the status quo when it comes to addressing sexual violence and to create an occurrence and increase of a phenomenon: story-telling. As I began this post I struggled to figure out where to start. I knew I wanted to talk about why a wave? We could have chosen any name, but Our Wave was chosen. Why? What was the significance. For every one on our team it bears a different meaning,…

Telling your story can have significant impact within the healing process. Something that often gets in the way is not being ready to attach their name to their story. *TRIGGER WARNING* I have experienced sexual violence three separate times in my life. In all three scenarios I was scared to speak up. I feared being blamed, not being believed, and of ruining my life. I longed for a place to just get the words out…