Community Guidelines ~ Our Wave

As a global platform for healing and self-expression, Our Wave is deeply committed to supporting survivors of sexual harm and creating brave spaces for self-reflection, connection, and learning. At the same time, we draw lines around a few narrowly defined but deeply important categories of content and behavior that jeopardize survivor wellbeing, threaten our infrastructure, and damage our healing community.

There is no such thing as a “safe space” —
We exist in the real world.
We all carry scars and have caused wounds.
This space
seeks to turn down the volume of the world outside,
and amplify voices that have to fight to be heard elsewhere,
This space will not be perfect.
It will not always be what we wish it to be
But
It will be our space together,
and we will work on it side by side.

— “Untitled Poem” by Beth Strano

Our Community Values

At Our Wave, we believe that:

Every survivor deserves to be heard and believed
Healing happens in community
Your story belongs to you
There is no "right way" to heal
Supporting others can be part of the healing journey

Platform Features & Guidelines

Our Wave offers five main ways to engage with our community:

Sharing your story - The core experience where you can share your narrative anonymously
Commenting on stories - Survivors can offer support and connection to other survivors
Public messages of support - Anyone (survivor or not) can send supportive messages
Submitting a question - Ask our team of experts any questions you have about survivorship, healing, or support
Upvoting questions - Help us identify the most important questions and answers

Each feature has specific guidelines to ensure our community remains a supportive space for all survivors.

What Our Wave Is For

Our Wave celebrates sexual harm survivorship in all forms. We want you to express yourself freely and use Our Wave to reflect on your experiences, connect with other survivors, and think deeply about what healing means to you. We also want you to be mindful and respectful of differences in survivor experiences and variations in the healing journey.

What Our Wave Is Not For

The following guidelines apply to all content on Our Wave - including stories, comments, questions, and media uploads.

Hate Speech. We do not tolerate content that actively blames survivors or encourages violence or hatred. Do not post content for the purpose inciting the hatred or dehumanization of individuals or groups based on race, ethnic or national origin, religion, gender, gender identity, age, veteran status, sexual orientation, disability or disease.

Harm to Minors. While sexual harm occurs across the lifespan, for legal reasons, this platform is only to be used by individuals 18 years or older. While you may reflect on experiences you had when you were a minor, please only do so on our platform if you are over the age of 18. For more information, see our Terms of Service.

Promotion or Glorification of Self-Harm. While self-harm most certainly can co-occur with an individual’s survivorship experience, do not post content that actively promotes or glorifies self-harm. This includes content that urges or encourages others to: cut or injure themselves; embrace anorexia, bulimia, or other eating disorders; or attempt suicide rather than e.g., seeking counseling or treatment, or joining together in supportive conversation with those suffering or recovering from mental health conditions. Dialogue about these behaviors is incredibly important and online communities can be extraordinarily helpful to people struggling. If you do mention self-harm in your story, a content warning will be used to protect the safety of all survivors engaging with the platform.

Adult Content. While we give you the ability to upload visual media including artwork, illustrations, and images, be sure you are respecting the healing community we are trying to create by not featuring adult content in these images. Do not upload images that show real-life human genitals or depict sex acts. Certain types of artistic, educational, or political content featuring nudity are fine. The Our Wave team reserves the right to make posting decisions on all media uploaded to the platform.

Harassment. Do not engage in targeted abuse, bullying, or harassment. Do not engage in the unwanted sexualization or sexual harassment of others. We have a zero tolerance policy for this.

Violent Content and Threats, Gore and Mutilation. While this platform discusses violence, we do not condone threats, gore, or mutilation. Do not post content which includes violent threats toward individuals or groups. This includes threats of theft, property damage, or financial harm. Do not post violent content or gore just to be shocking. Do not showcase the mutilation or torture of human beings, animals (including bestiality), or their remains. Do not post content that encourages or incites violence, or glorifies acts of violence or their perpetrators.

Content Guidelines for Stories

The following guidelines apply specifically to survivor stories shared on our platform.

Story Relevance. The goal of Our Wave is to intentionally create a community for survivors of sexual harm. We are aware that many types of trauma and abuse can overlap with and be related to sexual trauma. Those stories are okay to post on the platform. We are also aware that not all stories related to survivorship have to do with the details of the harm experienced. Please do not feel that you need to disclose any details you are uncomfortable sharing. Stories that explicitly are not related to trauma or violence survivorship in any way, however, should be posted elsewhere.

Privacy & Anonymity. To protect your privacy and confidentiality, Our Wave is an anonymous platform. This means that any information in story or media submissions that can be identifiable will be redacted before being posted to the platform. When sharing your story:

Avoid sharing identifying details like full names, specific locations, or contact information
We will redact identifiable information for your protection

Self-promotion in Stories. Unfortunately, we are unable to link stories to personal blogs, social media pages, books you have authored, or other related initiatives. Stories with the central idea of promoting things you are working on (whether or not they are related to sexual harm survivorship) should be posted elsewhere. That being said, if you are doing something cool in this space and would like to partner with us, reach out to [email protected] or see our partner frequently asked questions. We would love to hear from you!

Media Attribution. If you are posting the artwork or illustrations of others with your story, make sure you always give proper credit or attribution. We've included a space for media uploads where you can include the artist's name, social media handle, etc. This is important, as we want to credit the hard work artists put in to create the art that inspires us.

Story Sharing Best Practices

Share what feels right: You control how much or how little you want to share
No pressure: You can draft your story and come back to it later
Content warnings: Consider mentioning if your story contains potentially triggering content
Age requirement: You must be 18 or older to share your story

Content Guidelines for Comments

Our Wave offers the ability to comment on stories to build community and support among survivors and their allies. The following guidelines apply specifically to comments.

Comment Purpose. Comments should primarily offer support, validation, and connection. This is not a debate platform or a place for challenging someone's experience.

Comment Privacy Requirements. Comments must maintain anonymity:

Use first names only
No specific locations (cities, schools, organizations)
No social media handles or contact information
No identifying details about yourself or others

Comment Sharing Best Practices

Lead with empathy: Focus on validation and support
Respect boundaries: Never pressure someone to share more than they're comfortable with
Focus on support: Comments should create connection, not offer unsolicited advice
Remember that everyone's journey is different: What worked for you may not work for others
Be patient: All comments are reviewed before appearing on the platform

Comment Examples

Supportive comments that follow our guidelines:

"Thank you for sharing your story. Your courage gives me hope."
"I relate to what you shared about the healing process not being linear. I've experienced that too."
"I'm holding space for you and your journey."

Comments that would not be approved:

"You should have reported this to the police right away."
"Have you tried therapy with Dr. Smith at Main Street Counseling? Here's her email..."
"This doesn't sound like assault to me. Are you sure you made yourself clear?"
"I went through something similar at (specific school) with (name)..."

Content Guidelines for Public Messages of Support

Our Wave provides a "Messages of Support" feature where anyone from the general public can send supportive messages to survivors, whether or not they identify as survivors themselves. These messages help create a broader community of support and solidarity.

Message of Support Purpose. Messages of support allow allies, friends, family members, and the general public to stand with survivors and contribute to a culture of belief and validation.

Who Can Send Messages of Support. Anyone can send messages of support, regardless of whether they personally identify as a survivor. This feature is specifically designed to welcome supportive voices from the wider community.

Message Privacy Requirements. Like all content on Our Wave, messages of support must maintain anonymity:

Use first names only, if any
No specific locations or organizations
No contact information
No identifying details about yourself or others

Message Sharing Best Practices

Express solidarity: Show survivors they are believed and supported
Offer encouragement: Acknowledge the courage it takes to share and heal
Be authentic: Share genuine feelings of support without clichés
Respect the survivor experience: Don't claim to fully understand if you haven't had similar experiences
Keep it appropriate: All messages must follow our general content guidelines
Be patient: All messages are reviewed before appearing on the platform

Message of Support Examples

Supportive messages that follow our guidelines:

"Thank you for sharing your story. Your words have helped me better understand how to support survivors in my life."
"I believe you. What happened wasn't your fault, and I'm grateful you're sharing your journey."
"As someone who works to educate others about consent, I'm grateful for your courage in sharing. Your voice matters."
"I'm standing with you in solidarity. Thank you for your bravery."

Messages that would not be approved:

"I don't understand why you didn't fight back more."
"Have you tried just moving on? You can't dwell on the past forever."
"My cousin went through something similar and she recovered much faster by doing..."
"If this happened at (specific location), you should contact (specific person)."

Guidelines for Upvoting Questions

Our FAQ section includes upvoting to help us identify the most valuable questions and answers. The following guidelines apply specifically to the FAQ and upvoting feature:

Upvoting Purpose. Upvoting helps us understand which questions and resources are most important to our community. This information guides our content development and research priorities.

Upvoting Guidelines:

Upvote questions that resonate with your experience or that you'd like to see answered
Upvote answers that provided helpful information or perspectives
Authentic engagement only: Multiple upvotes from the same user or automated upvoting will be filtered out

How We Use Upvotes:

Highest upvoted questions will help guide our resource development
Questions with many upvotes may receive expanded answers, additional resources, or be recommended to others
Upvoting patterns help us identify emerging needs in our community

Community Safety & Support

We review all content to maintain a safe environment:

All stories and comments are moderated before appearing on the platform
Content warnings are added to stories with potentially triggering content
Crisis resources are available throughout the site
Report button: If you see content that concerns you, please use the report feature

Remember that Our Wave offers more than story sharing:

Resources: Access curated healing resources based on your needs
Question submission: Submit anonymous questions about healing and survivorship
Regular check-ins: Optional notifications to share how people are engaging with your story or community updates
Research participation: Opt in to help improve support for future survivors

Enforcement

If we conclude that you are violating these guidelines, your story, comment, or other content will not be posted on the Our Wave platform. We do our best to ensure fair outcomes, but in all cases we reserve the right to not post or remove content, for any reason, but particularly to protect survivors and the community we are trying to create. We reserve the right to enforce, or not enforce, these guidelines in our sole discretion, and these guidelines don't create a duty or contractual obligation for us to act in any particular manner. Repeat violations of our Community Guidelines may result in permanent suspension.

You can report violations of these guidelines to us directly by emailing [email protected]. You can remove your own content whenever you want, of course, by using the link provided to you in your story posting notification email, or by requesting secure access to your story here. If you have any questions or feedback, don’t hesitate to contact us using the email provided above.

Thank you for reading all of this and for being interested in joining the Our Wave community. Welcome! We are so happy you are here. Your story matters and healing is possible.

Updated July 28, 2025