The weather is changing, holidays are approaching (for those who celebrate) – there are all sorts of emotions in the air. I know yesterday I felt excitement, anxiety, and joy all before lunch. There’s no “right” way to be this time of year (or any time of year), just as there’s no “right ” way to heal from loss, trauma, or anything else.
That doesn’t keep people from sharing their opinions or advice. But you don’t need to listen, a fact I’m still learning. Caring for yourself means knowing what you can and can’t take in. I realize starting a blog post by advising not to take in opinions might seem counter intuitive. I mean it, if reading right now feels like too much, you don’t need to! You know yourself best. I’m here, writing from a place of personal experience, as an educator and as a master’s in social work student. I listen to a lot of stories. I have a lot of stories to tell.
That doesn’t make me an expert in anything besides my own experience. And what I know, is that the colder weather and the holidays and seeing family and friends I haven’t seen in a while, brings up all sorts of feelings and behaviors for me. I really like routine. Having a set schedule can be comforting for a lot of folks who are healing from trauma.
In my own life, I look for ways to keep some consistency between my days. Meditating, going on walks, crafting, cooking myself a nice meal are all ways I unwind.
Not only can this time of year elevate general anxiety levels, but research indicates that there is a correlation between individuals who’ve survived abuse and folks with a history of disordered eating. A change in weather and holidays can bring up painful memories, elevate anxiety levels and trigger eating behaviors that compromise wellbeing. The correlation is higher for LGBT folks and higher still for trans folks. This is a very sad correlation, but if you or anyone you know is struggling, know that you, or they, aren’t alone. We exist in cultures that have strong opinions on bodies and self-image. We are inundated by ways we should look, should exist. I know I fall prey to the noise. I know that taking a step back and realizing when I’m taking in content that feeds my anxiety, is necessary. Realizing what thoughts aren’t mine to hold, is powerful.
It's easier said than done. And I’m grateful we live in a time where mental health is talked about and advocated for more broadly. There are resources available. Again, I am writing from a place of lived experience and from what I know as a master’s social work student interested in making mental health information down to earth and equitable. A one size fits all approach doesn’t work. Finding wellness practices that work for you might involve a little trial and error. To me, that means patience and being gentle with yourself!
Evidence-based resources that may be of use to you or someone you know, include disordered eating support groups, grief support groups, animal-assisted therapy, and mindful journaling.
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD) is a non-profit committed to delivering free, peer support services to folks struggling with disordered eating. Their approach focuses on compassionate care from individuals with personal experience on the subject. They have a variety of programming, including a robust support network for LGBT folks. Support groups might include conversations on wellness practices and support around mealtimes.
The Dinner Party is a mental health resource focused on grief support for adults ages 21-45. Grieving the loss of a loved one, a pet, a relationship and/or the accumulation of many losses can be especially challenging for those in early adulthood. The Dinner Party brings a nuanced approach. Their programming is tailored to individuals’ interests and needs. Individuals join support groups either based on specific types of loss (suicide loss, BIPOC identity, partner loss, etc.) and location. Because there is so much care and attention at the beginning of the process, participants report feeling deeply connected to the support groups they join.
Animal-assisted therapy (AAT) is a broad category that encompasses therapies that incorporate animals into mental and physical wellness practices. If you are an animal lover, AAT might be for you! I volunteer with the Philly Goat Project, an accessible, community wellness non-profit. Thirteen trained, therapy goats live on a farm in Philadelphia. Folks come to the farm for free programming, such as seasonal grief walks, artist-led goat drawing workshops and walks focused on ecology and nature. The goats go out into the community, including visiting public libraries and schools. The Philly Goat Project also runs a teen job-training program. What I love about the project, is that folks of all ages, with all sorts of lived experiences can come together to celebrate and learn from the delightful goats. Again, if animals are your thing, I gently encourage you to search for AAT programs in your area.
Lastly, journaling is one of my favorite ways to ground myself. When I’m feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated, giving myself the time and space to get my thoughts down on the page helps. Journaling is unique to the individual. You might like to doodle, write poetry, scribble, collage in your journal. It’s your time and your journal! And, of course, if you feel like anonymously sharing your thoughts and feelings on a compassionate, supportive website, Our Wave is here.
However you care for yourself, whatever celebrating the holidays, or the change in seasons looks like for you, I hope you find some time and space to be kind to yourself, experience some joy and find some sources of connection in your life. I wrote about some resources above, and many more exists. There are links to resources below. Whoever you are, I’m hoping you take good care of yourself!
Resources:
988 Crisis Line: if you, or someone you know is struggling. https://988lifeline.org/
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders: peer-led, compassionate support groups. https://anad.org/
The Dinner Party: grief support for adults ages 21-45 https://www.thedinnerparty.org/
Animal-Assisted Therapy: you can read more about it here
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/animal-assisted-therapy
Philly Goat Project: community-based, mental wellness non-profit, with goats! https://www.phillygoatproject.org/
Our Wave: safe site for survivors of harm https://www.ourwave.org/en/
References:
Caslini, M., Bartoli, F., Crocamo, C., Dakanalis, A., Clerici, M., & Carrà, G. (2016). Disentangling the Association Between Child Abuse and Eating Disorders: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Psychosomatic Medicine, 78(1), 79–90. https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0000000000000233
Nagata, M., Jason, Granson, T., Kyle, Austin, S., Bryan. (2021) Emerging Trends in Eating Disorders among Sexual and Gender Minorities. Current Opinion in Psychiatry, 33(6):p 562-567. https://journals.lww.com/copsychiatry/abstract/2020/11000/emerging_trends_in_eating_disorders_among_sexual.8.aspx
Rayworth, B. B., Wise, L. A., & Harlow, B. L. (2004). Childhood Abuse and Risk of Eating Disorders in Women: Epidemiology, 15(3), 271–278. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.ede.0000120047.07140.9d
Wonderlich, S. A., Brewerton, T. D., Jocic, Z., Dansky, B. S., & Abbott, D. W. (1997). Relationship of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Eating Disorders. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 36(8), 1107–1115. https://doi.org/10.1097/00004583-199708000-00018
