Healing Through Narrative Therapy: Reclaiming Your Story After Sexual Harm
May 27, 2025
What Is Narrative Therapy?
Narrative therapy is a means of reclaiming stories. The practice allows for participants to reflect on what stories they tell about themselves to best honor their needs, histories, and identities. The practice can be powerful for survivors of sexual trauma. Storytelling can take the form of podcasts, journal entries, letters, artwork, poems, and theater. In the Our Wave community platform, you can anonymously share writing and art - and be in community with other survivors and allies.
In this blog post, I will outline some key components of narrative therapy that have been beneficial to survivors of sexual harm. This isn’t intended as therapy, but rather as an overview of what’s possible when stories are reclaimed. Survivors of sexual trauma sometimes report feeling like their worlds are limited because of pain and stigma. Sharing in community with others is an alternative.
Externalizing Trauma: Separating the Pain from Your Identity
By externalizing what’s causing you pain, shame is reduced. No one is to blame for the trauma that they experienced. Trauma isn’t a definition, and it is only individual survivors who can tell their specific stories. This is important because the stories we tell about ourselves matter. They shape how we view ourselves. Stories can keep us stuck in patterns that no longer serve our needs. And conversely, reauthoring stories allows us to grow and heal.
Survivors of sexual trauma may feel small due to narratives emphasizing harm, guilt and/or powerlessness, while externalizing trauma allows for stories that highlight strength, agency and survival. Sometimes, we can get stuck in the same story. There will always be more than one story we can tell about an experience. It takes work, courage, and time to reauthor your own stories.
Externalizing trauma allows us to have a new vantage point, to work through hurt. Three factors that are especially notable are the ability to externalize, document on one’s own terms and trusting one’s own expertise. What happens once suffering is written down and shared with others, and/or voiced to others? If trauma is unspeakable, what happens when it is spoken?
Narrative therapy seems to be an exciting, invigorating answer to these questions.
Externalizing a problem allows for distance and insight. Shame can develop when a problem has been internalized. Someone experiencing depression may hear from multiple parties that they’re the problem, they’re too sensitive, or they’re not strong enough. Externalizing can be the antithesis to these deeply harmful messages. When someone can see that they’re not the problem, that their personhood is much greater than a diagnosis, or a feeling, then the actual work of healing can take place. It allows for creativity.
“We get our language back through the language of others. We can turn to the poem. We can open the book. Somebody has been there for us and deep dived the words.” (Winterson 2012 p. 9)
This quote articulates the power of stories to bring people, especially those with marginalized identities, or who’ve experienced silencing from powerful systems and institutions, together. Trauma has been described as beyond words, unspeakable. If we’re able to externalize our suffering, to cast aside self-blame, to be creative and curious and kind to ourselves in describing our trauma, we not only regain our voices, but make way for others to follow, to create community in conversations.
Creative Documentation: Writing, Art, and Expression for Healing
You get to decide what form of documentation feels right for you. Some survivors find writing letters to be a powerful experience. Consider writing a letter to your future self. You can include hopes, wishes, and plans. It might not feel intuitive at first. That’s ok! You don’t have to write the letter all at once. And you can write more than one letter.
Some survivors find great benefit in establishing a creative practice, such as writing a poem every day. Or taking a series of photographs every day. Establishing routines that demonstrate your values and creativity can be meaningful.
Engaging in a creative practice can be done solo or in a group, or some combination of the two. A study in England found that anxiety and depression scores were reduced in a sample of adults who participated in group urban walks with time set aside every session for photography. (Muir, 2017)
You can choose to keep your creative documentation for yourself, or to share with others. Documentation can take the form of songs, poems, podcasts, metaphors, proverbs, theater, letters to the future (reflecting hope, wisdom, and dreams), certificates, and recipes
Below is a list of prompts to fuel creative responses to storytelling:
Naming the problem: You are not the problem. Too often survivors feel in a loop of self-blame and shame. By externalizing what’s keeping you stuck, or worried, or anxious, survivors report feeling a release of pent-up emotion. Healing isn’t uniform or on a timeline. Something seemingly innocuous might trigger a rush of emotions. Working through the aftermath of a traumatic encounter takes patience and kindness. And I will keep saying it, you are not the problem. It’s common for survivors to not be sure where to start unpacking and processing their pain. Sometimes, it’s less overwhelming to break your pain/problem into parts. Prompt: If your problem were a character or creature, what would it be called? How has it shown up in your life?
Acts of resistance: Surviving harm can feel like a rug has been pulled out from beneath you. Confidence and trust can falter. When we get stuck telling ourselves stories that undermine our agency and competency, it can be difficult to see the big picture. Prompt: Tell a story of a time you stood up for yourself or someone else—no matter how small.
Moments of pride: Similarly, survivors of sexual harm are susceptible to feelings of shame. Allowing yourself moments to celebrate small, as well as big, wins is important. You can feel proud for brushing your teeth, eating a meal, going to work or class. Nothing is too small to celebrate! I know it’s easy for me to say that, and I do sincerely mean it. But I also know how uncomfortable enjoying moments of pride/celebrating are. It might be easier some days than others. But, like most things, practice helps. The more you celebrate yourself (and you deserve it!), the more comfortable it becomes. Prompt: Describe a moment that made you proud—something others may not even know about.
Values under fire: Looking a little broader and reflecting on what matters to you can give a bird’s eye view of stories you’ve been telling about yourself. Prompt: What values helped you survive the hardest times? How did they show up in action?
Relationships that sustain you: Recognizing relationships that make you feel safe and seen can be affirming. It can show you who and what you value and emphasize your own strength. Prompt: Tell a story about someone (a person, pet, ancestor, or community) who gave you strength.
Looking forward: Survivors of sexual trauma deserve fulfilling futures. You get to decide what that looks like. Like all these exercises, this is a letter you can come back to and add on to. It can be a living document. Prompt: If your future self could write you a letter today, what would it say?
Claiming Your Expertise: Trusting Your Intuition and Your Story
Unfortunately, survivors’ expertise is questioned. Believing in your own expertise to document your story may take time. Trusting your intuition may come in waves. It’s powerful though, being able to claim ownership of your story. You may find that the story you’ve been telling doesn’t honor your experiences.
The more you find ways to express your pain (by putting your hurt into your own words and bolstering what sustains you), the more comfortable it becomes to be in community with others. Being a survivor of sexual harm can feel isolating. Regaining trust in yourself and others is challenging. It can be a non-linear, bumpy path. Predicting what will bring you comfort and peace can be hard, and might depend on the day and time. But, having a few tools (like a photography or writing practice) in your belt can be rewarding.
Narrative Therapy Resources and Community
If you are interested in participating in narrative therapy within a community or with a trained clinician, there are resources available. Our Wave allows for written and visual submissions. The Dulwich Center offers free trainings. And Psychology Today lists therapists for individual and group narrative therapy sessions.
Narrative therapeutic practices are far-ranging. However you choose to engage with a narrative practice, know that expressing your hurt, vulnerabilities, and values takes courage. Take good care of yourself as you find a practice that suits you!
References
Courtois, C. A., & Ford, J. D. (2016). Treatment of complex trauma: A sequenced, relationship-
based approach. The Guilford Press.
Dulwich Centre. Dulwich Centre. https://dulwichcentre.com.au/
Muir, J. (2017). Exploring the help-seeking experiences of family members affected by a
relative's substance use: An interpretative phenomenological analysis. University of
East London Research Repository.
Winterson, J. (2012). Why be happy when you could be normal? Grove Press.
