Addressing the Root Causes of Toxic Masculinity on Sexual Violence

When you hear the word “masculinity,” what comes to mind? Do you think of someone deadlifting 300 pounds at the gym? Do you think of someone who is ready to fight? Someone who dresses in work boots and holds a blue collar job?

The truth is that there isn’t really one uniform way to define it. Masculinity, as a concept, differs from culture to culture and has had different definitions throughout history. 

Masculinity and femininity are most often used to identify certain gender expression characteristics that signify the roles of that gender. In many parts of the world, gender has been polarized by prejudices and biases that cause people (mostly men) to continue to hold power over individuals who walk through their life with femininity. 

Toxic masculinity refers to the obsession by those pursuing a masculine role to hold power over others and see their masculinity as the greatest or most superior. It is also the obsession of designating oneself as superior to feminine counterparts. 

And it’s called toxic because it poisons us! Most often, it is poisonous to the safety of others from sexual violence. 

Toxic Masculinity’s Not So Humble Beginnings

Many ancient texts throughout history have set the standard for men to be “in charge” of women and to acquire women as possessions for building their families. 

In one of the most widely used holy texts across the world, The Bible, The Book of Genesis right at the beginning speaks of women as if they are property and they are often only mentioned for the purpose of marriage or creating families. There are other parts of The Bible that speak about women differently but this idea continues to be perpetuated still. 

In the more recent history (the past century) men from many regions of the world were often summoned to wars like World War II, the Vietnam and Korean Wars, and post-9/11 conflicts in the Middle East. Men were enticed with promises of honor and glory for their masculinity. Their military resocialization and post-war trauma reinforced an already deep wound in the fabric of many civilizations. 

Even men who did not participate in the wars continued to be sold on the entitlement to honor and glory that was to be expected as a reward for their strength and superiority. So, these men wondered, why am I not being loved and admired for my sacrifices?

A 2021 blog post from the National WWII Museum in New Orleans expands on this concept, mentioning:

“Thus, there was a prevalent fear among civilians and government officials that, due to psychological illness, veterans could not fulfill their new roles as citizens, husbands, and fathers.” 

This fear suggested that these men' s competence should be looked at under a microscope at all times, so it would make sense that there would be a lot of pressure to behave in a certain manner.  

To post-war society it was clear: everyone was expecting men to fulfill a role of good husband and father, therefore the reward for men' s sacrifices should be adoration and companionship from the women they felt they had protected and subsequent family building from these women.

Toxic Masculinity Today

The major theme from generation to generation of toxic masculinity is the concept of entitlement. This has resulted in a few similar displays of toxic masculinity in the modern age.

The “incel” movement and the “nice guy”

The “incel” movement, which is short for “Involuntarily Celibate,” is a movement where men have felt that they have been wrongfully denied companionship and have been exiled to loneliness. The term is used in some circles to make fun of certain types of behavior in men, such as violating boundaries or feeling entitled towards women’s bodies in exchange for gestures such as gifts, compliments, and other attention. 

This movement has attracted young men who feel the sting of loneliness. Some of the possible factors toward this movement could include the anonymity of social media, rigid gender norms discouraging formal mental health treatment, out-dated dating norms in a rapidly changing feminist movement, and increased exposure to misogynistic language on internet spaces frequented by young teens and even children. 

Podcast bros and the “alpha male” 

It’s likely you’ve heard the name Andrew Tate before - a well-known and self-proclaimed “alpha male” who has spent years creating a feeling of community and brotherhood over the degradation of women and queer people. It likely comes as no surprise that Tate also has an extensive history of accusations and charges of rape, sexual assault, trafficking, and more. 

These podcast bros play on some mens’ need to define their masculinity in a turbulent and polarized society. The “alpha male” concept offers young men a goal to reach, a way to prove masculinity. 

Also, a solid “us vs. them” argument helps men like this continue to hold power over those who are looking for affinity with others who struggle with insecurity about how their masculinity is perceived.

Hiding under social media 

Social media has kept people from far and wide in touch with one another and helps us share our most precious moments and thoughts with others. However, we must consider whether or not it is worth the very frightening other side of the coin. 

Social media has become a breeding ground for places where these “incels” and “alpha males” can come together to encourage one another to engage in conversation and spread their ideas about consent, entitlement to sex, women and queer people as objects, and other aspects of sexual violence. 

Anonymous image boards and forums that exist to exploit, intimidate, and control are not going away any time soon. Fortunately, there are other ways to fight back against these forums. 

Toxic Masculinity and Marginalized Communities

Institutional racism throughout history has separated masculinity and femininity into subcategories connected with their race. During the times of chattel slavery in America, white men and black men were expected to have different types of masculinity. 

Similarly, white women and black women were expected to have different types of femininity. This never really stopped. From the Ellis Island era immigration to modern immigration, racial minorities in the country were seen as a threat to the white men who had colonized the United States because they were seen as individuals who would take what they felt they were entitled to: the bodies of the women in their community. This affects how racial minorities are treated in the US to this day.

Queer people didn’t get much of a break either. Any type of masculinity that deviates from the masculinity of a stereotypical cisgender, heterosexual man is considered lesser. 

In some cases, it becomes conflated with femininity, which toxic masculinity suggests this means the people who fit this description are objects and outsiders. This is where the “gay panic” defense has developed from. 

In the same respect, any femininity that is not that of a cisgender woman who is attracted to men, is considered a threat because it is an object that cannot be controlled. This is where the “trans panic” defense has developed from. These types of thinking about masculinity and femininity within queer communities has set the stage for sexual violence to be normalized. 

The Good News: There is Hope! 

With all of this overwhelming information it can be distressing to know that this is a common problem among men. As we think about the men in our lives that may struggle with toxic masculinity, we may feel a sense of anxiety or despair. Fortunately, there are ways you can support those individuals in your life, such as: 

• Teaching boundaries early: Teach the young people in your life, regardless of age and gender, the importance of respecting one another’s boundaries. 

• Supporting consent in sex education: Show your support for proper education on consent in middle schools, high schools, and colleges. 

• Balancing accountability with understanding: Support the individuals in your life by validating their loneliness or frustrations while still standing firm that their behavior is consistent with toxic masculinity.

• Affirming that everyone is safe to feel their emotions and avoiding dismissiveness: Reinforce that it is OK to cry. Avoid phrases like “suck it up” or “get over it.” This does not mean condoning violent or toxic reactions to emotions.

• Learning about bystander intervention: Learn about bystander intervention and encourage others to learn about it so everyone in the community can hold one another accountable.

Additionally, consider these resources for help and support with toxic masculinity, and sexual harm, in general: 

• A Call for Change Helpline: One of the few resources available to help those who have committed intimate partner violence or sexual violence, or those at risk of doing so, to change their ways and educate themselves. You can reach out to them for help with how to talk to a partner or loved one about their abusive or toxic behavior as well. You can find the information to contact them here. 

• PAVE: According to their website, PAVE is, “a national nonprofit that works both to prevent sexual assault and heal survivors through social advocacy, prevention education, and survivor support.” Through their program “PAVE University,” PAVE offers a Bystander Intervention self-paced course.

• Our Wave: Share your story, connect with other survivors of sexual violence, ask personal experience questions to trauma-informed specialists, and access curated resources within our survivor community platform.

Toxic Masculinity is here and it’s prevalent, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. On a community level, dismantling the sense of “entitlement” over each other is the first step to keeping our loved ones safe from toxic masculinity. From there, we can begin to create a new concept of masculinity and femininity where sexual harm is not so ingrained in our identities.