Examining Gender-Based Violence in Netflix's You and Beyond

The Netflix series You released its final season last month, leaving viewers (both fans and critics) eager to see how the story of Joe Goldberg, the seemingly charming yet violent stalker/serial killer, would ultimately unfold. The show has consistently risen to Netflix’s Top Ten roster, sparking widespread discussion with its shocking twists and disturbing scenarios.

Despite its popularity, You has garnered plenty of criticism for how it romanticizes male violence against women through the main character of Joe. These portrayals raise important questions about responsibility in entertainment, especially when depicting gender-based violence (GBV) in ways that might normalize or glamorize harmful behaviors.

This article examines the impact You has had throughout its popular run on Netflix, specifically diving into an analysis of its final season. We'll explore statistics on GBV and look at how media influences societal norms and perceptions. Through this analysis, we aim to unpack the show's problematic elements regarding GBV and how the final season attempted to address its previous four seasons of male violence against women.

Warning: The rest of the article contains spoilers! 

Summary of Netflix’s You and Its Final Season

You first premiered on Netflix in December 2018, quickly gaining viewership and becoming one of the platform’s most-watched shows during that time. The show begins by introducing Joe Goldberg, a seemingly sensitive, smart bookstore owner in New York City. However, as the first season progresses, we see his obsession with an aspiring writer, Guinevere Beck, turn into stalking, manipulation, and violence. The series is narrated from Joe’s perspective, as he rationalizes his violent actions as acts of love and romance.

Throughout the next three seasons, Joe consistently crosses the line between romance and control with various love interests. He becomes predatory, unable to control his urges, which (more often than not) result in murder. The show also explores power dynamic themes, the façade of a perfect, suburban family, elaborate and grotesque lifestyles of the rich, and glimpses into Joe’s violent and abusive childhood.

In the final season, which was released on April 24, Joe has manipulated the world into believing he is a devoted husband to philanthropist, Kate Lockwood, one of the richest people in the world. Eventually, his marriage with Kate turns sour as she discovers more about his dark past. Joe then turns his attention to a young woman, known as Bronte, who is a self-proclaimed lover of dark-romance novels.

The show then takes a surprising turn, revealing that Bronte has been stalking Joe for years. As one of Beck’s former students, she didn’t (originally) believe the charming façade that deceived many others. Despite this shocking twist, Bronte does eventually fall for Joe through his manipulative and protective gestures. The season’s climax begins with several of Joe’s surviving victims coming together to plan his downfall.

After speaking with another victim, Bronte gains clarity about the situation. In the final episode, the narrative perspective shifts, symbolically, from Joe to Bronte. This switch represents a form of justice, placing Bronte at the center of the story, rather than Joe as the complex antihero. One of Bronte’s final lines attempts to summarize the romanticization of violent male characters and the audience’s complicity in this fantasy:

“The fantasy of a man like you is how we cope with the reality of a man like you.”

The Romanticization of Male Violence in You

The romanticization of Joe has become one of the main themes throughout the series, and it’s important to distinguish that this type of over-protective, abusive, and dangerous man is not, in fact, romantic. The last season particularly portrayed Joe as a “dark romance” character who is glamorized and attractive to viewers despite his behavior.

Another cinematic theme throughout the series is Joe’s internal narrative. As we gain access to his deepest and darkest thoughts, we also witness him justifying his violence as self-defense or righteous punishment. This can be reflected in how real-world abusers also rationalize their behavior – a harmful and dehumanizing mindset that perpetuates cycles of violence.

Additionally, access to Joe's thoughts blurs the line between villainy and heroism. It becomes a way to encourage viewers to empathize with Joe despite his crimes. We see this frequently in Hollywood productions, where the protagonist has flaws and viewers are led to excuse certain behaviors. Joe’s actions are supposed to be more justified if viewers understand his point of view and gain insight into his traumatic childhood. This approach poses real dangers and creates devastating consequences for survivors of abuse.

In the final episode of You’s last season, the show attempted to overturn this pattern by shifting the perspective from Joe to Bronte as she finally captures him and orchestrates his downfall. Her final monologue, as she has Joe on his knees begging her to kill him, exposes his romanticization as a dangerous illusion. Her words emphasize the need to separate fantasy from reality when it comes to violent male archetypes.

Gender-Based Violence: Statistics and Real-World Impact

GBV takes many forms, including intimate partner violence, sexual violence, stalking, and femicide (gender-related killings). The following statistics reveal the prevalence and severity of GBV affecting women and girls worldwide:

• Global prevalence: Approximately 30% of women aged 15 and older have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence by a non-partner at least once in their lifetime, equating to an estimated 736 million women worldwide (UN Women).

• Intimate partner violence (IPV): IPV is the most common form of violence against women, with over a quarter of women aged 15-49 who have been in a relationship experiencing physical and/or sexual violence by a partner at least once (World Bank).

• Femicide rates: Globally, 38% of all murders of women are committed by intimate partners. In 2023, approximately 51,100 women and girls were killed by intimate partners or family members (UN Women).

• Conflict-related violence: War and displacement exacerbate GBV risks. For example, in Sudan, demand for GBV services increased by 288% since December 2023 due to conflict-related sexual violence, with over 6.9 million people at risk of GBV in the country (UN Women). 

The consequences of GBV extend far beyond immediate physical harm, creating lasting psychological, social, and economic impacts. Survivors can experience PTSD, depression, and anxiety from the trauma of GBV. Plus, social outcasting within communities adds more damage, perpetuating gender inequality and creating collective trauma with economic costs.

The connection between media representations like You and statistical GBV should not be ignored. Even though it’s fictional, You reflects and potentially reinforces dangerous societal tendencies to romanticize male violence and sympathize with perpetrators rather than survivors.

Media’s Role in Perpetuating or Challenging GBV

You definitely isn’t the first show to normalize violence against women. The media has been doing this for decades, from early Hollywood shows in the 1950s to contemporary music lyrics. Even news outlets have historically framed reports about domestic violence as a “private matter” or suggested that victims may have provoked their attackers. This type of victim-blaming and justification of abuse has damaging consequences for society’s understanding of violence against women.

The media plays a huge role in shaping societal attitudes toward GBV. You’s final season, particularly its last episode, attempted to address its past 4 seasons and 49 episodes of glamorized violence by shifting to a female’s perspective. By doing this, the show exposed the dangers of romanticizing Joe Goldberg and, by extension, real-world abusers. 

However, more must be done within the media to promote positive social norms and raise awareness about the root causes of GBV. If abusive behavior is consistently normalized in the media, then viewers become more desensitized to violence and toxic masculinity is reinforced.

Increased media literacy training and responsible storytelling are a few solutions. It is a step in the right direction once viewers can recognize and critique portrayals of GBV in the media. Educational resources and frameworks (such as the UN Women and UNICEF publication, “Mapping the nexus between media reporting and violence against girls”) provide guidance for understanding and improving media representations of GBV.

The Path Towards Responsible Media

The final episode of You attempted to address the romanticization of male violence against women that characterized its previous four seasons. The show exposed the dangerous fantasy it helped perpetuate through Bronte’s final monologue and the symbolic shift in narrative perspective. But can one episode counter 49 others that romanticized GBV?

You serves as an interesting case study that reveals the broader challenge facing media and entertainment industries: undoing the normalization of GBV. You’s content of romanticizing violence against women ultimately perpetuates harmful stereotypes, reinforces toxic masculinity, and promotes victim-blaming attitudes that have widespread consequences.

The path forward requires commitment from both sides of the screen. Media creators must embrace responsible storytelling that avoids glamorizing abuse and audiences must develop media literacy skills to critically evaluate content. Storytelling remains one of the most powerful mediums, but it’s only through this collective effort that we can transform media from a source of harm into a force for healing and positive change.